Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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whats black and white? a zebra

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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If youre African, why are you white?

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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