How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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