What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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zx

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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