A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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NEVER

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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