A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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