Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops