An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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im not food

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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