What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Why? Why not?

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops