A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Womens rights

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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So I was walking down the road today

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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