Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mums a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops