You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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