Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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these are shit

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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