Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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