Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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The game.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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