5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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If youre African, why are you white?

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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whats black and white? a zebra

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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