stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Barack Obama.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops