"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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