Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Vagina cream... end of story

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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