Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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One below was by me: Walter H

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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