If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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