I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops