how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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