How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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