-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops