- Anti Joke

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

joe diragi whacks off his dog

why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

Get on the boat.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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