Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock -The door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The Joke Below

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The dewey decimal system

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops