Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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My Butthole.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops