Y u do dis?

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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10inch nice

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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what?

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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Bad grammers.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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