Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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