What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

Sometimes i'm hungry.

knock knock who's there me i kill you

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

i hate black people

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

Boston was having so much fun everyone was running and screaming

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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