Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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