An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Women's Rights.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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