Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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all hail based mark

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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