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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

If God gives you lemons you find a new God

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

This is Heading 1

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

What do vampires cross the sea in?

Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.