why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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