What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Feminism

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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I need to start studying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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