A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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whats the capital of congo famine

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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