"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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