My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bad grammers.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to here a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops