my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Gustavo Andrade

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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69

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops