How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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