How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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