Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Sam Hengal.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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