Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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Jovan

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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