Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Coldpaly is a good band

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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