Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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