why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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Poop!!

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops