5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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