Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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sure!

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Black people

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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