A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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