A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Okay.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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