Davey Peterson.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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